Wednesday, November 3, 2010

For What Purpose?

The "One-year" markers have begun.  It is hard to believe it has been a year since we found out we were expecting Audrey.  What is even harder to comprehend is all that has happened in the past year, especially with that little girl who changed our lives in a way we never dreamed.


I will admit I have asked that more than I can even count.  And I have also come to realize that I may not know every answer to that until I am in heaven.  But this morning my Bible Study gave me a new reminder of why God allows suffering.  Nancy Guthrie said, "Trusting God when the miracle does not come, when the urgent prayer gets no answer, when there is only darkness -- this is the kind of faith God values perhaps most of all."

My sadness returns when other's have prayers answered with a miracle, or when things {seemingly} are going so well for those around me.  I do want others to have joy and happiness, it is not that I wish for everyone to be hurting.  But at times it is hard to find happiness for others when my prayers became answered with "No."  But then I remember, people will either see that God is being glorified through my baby girl, or they will see me angry and upset with God for not answering the way I wanted.

And who am I to tell God what the right answer is?

So the question I was challenged to ask God this morning is "For what purpose?"  What does God want to do through taking my baby to heaven.  And is God going to allow more suffering in my life so that He can be glorified even more?  I will be honest, sometimes I hesitate to give praise to Him for what He has done through Audrey because I fear He will bring more suffering to me.  {Strange, I know.}

John 9:2-3 And the disciples asked Him, saying, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"  Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him."

The purpose of Audrey's life was to bring glory to God.  

And I am striving to look beyond this life to my Redeemer and the future that awaits me!
2 Corinthians 4: 16-18  Therefore we do not lose heart.  Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.  For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

If I focus on my pain and heartache, the results are pain, sadness, and depression.
When I focus on my Redeemer, my future, and the hope I have in Jesus Christ, the result is joy, hope, and anticipation!

I have to make the choice every day, but I am thankful that God's Word keeps reminding me where to focus.



  1. Just as silver and gold are refined to reveal its beauty, God wants to refine us to reveal His beauty in us. I continue to pray for you. I love how you continue to exalt God even through your pain. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Love you!

  2. I remember feeling that sadness when others got a yes to their answered prayers. What an emotional roller coaster we go through when we experience a loss of a child. You are still in my daily thoughts and prayers!! :)