"All to Thee, my Blessed Savior, I surrender some."
Yes, if I was honest I would say that has been something I have battled recently. That is not original with me, I have heard my dad say it and I'm sure others have too. But I think about how true that probably is for me. There is nothing harder in life than giving up your child, it is hard whether that means in death or in life. From the beginning of our children's lives, we stood up in front of witnesses to say we are giving this child back to the Lord for His service, as parents we are saying "Thy will be done" with those children God has trusted us with. A baby dedication has come to mean so much more to me, not only in my surrender to God's will for Audrey, but as Ella grows I learn more and more what it really means to give your child back to God. Sometimes that means God's will is for them to leave us soon and live with Him in heaven, other times that means watching our kids make choices we don't think are right, and still at times it means letting go of them as they go halfway across the world to witness to foreign lands or fight for our country's freedom.
And sometime it means trusting the Lord when you walk out of the room of their Kindergarten class as they cry and beg for you to hold them, not to leave them there alone. None of these situations are any easier than others, yet the all require the same thing: Trusting the One who loves them more than we as parents do.
Isn't that what it is all about? Simply trusting, Every day? Not trusting when it is easy, or just some days. He gave me this child to raise, but she belongs to Him! He is going to watch over her and protect her more than I ever could, and regardless of what letting go means at a particular time, Simply Trusting is the same every time.
Ella seems to be growing up before our eyes, I cannot believe how quickly the past 5 years have gone and I am so thankful for the tenderhearted and loving girl she is. I am so excited to see what the next phase of her life brings and I am honored to be her Mom walking by her side, to encourage, cheer, and hold her up when things are tough. But most of all, I want to teach her what it means to trust God in everything, and there is no better way to show her that than to live it myself.
Ella is also now a Sparkie in Awana and she had a blast in their first meeting.
And Monday was Ella's very first soccer practice, I'd say she looks simply adorable in her uniform!!!
I'm still learning to do this every day, and I keep singing it as a reminder.
"All to Thee, my Blessed Savior, I surrender all."